How to Move Close to One Another
5 Ingredients to moving close together.
Why living near one another matters more than we thought
This post is about another one of our core rhythms: intentional proximity.
I initially started writing this by retelling the story of how we ended up living in a student neighbourhood. As I wrote, it all felt familiar—and I realized I had already written a fairly detailed post on proximity here
It’s a wild story and well worth the read.
So instead, I pivoted to a different question—one that has emerged after years of experience across many contexts:
How do you actually cultivate a community that wants to live in intentional proximity and rhythm with one another?
Is Intentional Proximity Only for “Ideal” Contexts?
A common objection is that our context is unusually ideal, and that intentional proximity only works in certain situations. It’s true that not every city or church has the same opportunities.
That said, our church now exists in nine cities, many of them among the most expensive in North America. None of these contexts are particularly easy. We’ve had to think carefully—and often creatively—about how to cultivate deep love for one another and live on mission together.
Over time, we’ve discovered five essential ingredients that consistently contribute to communities choosing to live near one another.
1. Cast a Missional Vision
A community that lives close together needs a compelling reason to do so.
Life in community is hard. Conflict is inevitable. And the cultural pressure to pursue the most “optimal” personal situation is very real. Without a clear missional motivation, proximity will always lose to convenience.
A passion for reaching the lost—and intentionally structuring our lives around that calling—is a prerequisite for making sacrificial decisions. Decisions like selling homes, moving neighbourhoods, or even relocating cities require more than good intentions.
We need a reason to choose a particular neighbourhood and a motivation for coming together. Only a missionary impulse is strong enough to overcome the natural obstacles.
2. A Theology of Family Is Required
But mission alone isn’t enough.
We also need a deep, long-lasting, and theologically rooted love for one another. We need to want to be together—not out of comfort or preference, but out of obedience and Spirit-formed commitment.
This desire flows from Scripture’s repeated commands to love one another as members of the family of God. Intentional proximity exists to increase natural touchpoints, simplify our lives, open our homes, and create spontaneous opportunities to share life—both with one another and with those who don’t yet know Jesus.
For that to work, we must return again and again to the biblical vision of church as family, marked by hospitality, commitment, and shared life.
3. Leaders Must Lead by Example
Years ago, when Laura and I were wrestling with our own move closer to our mission field, a leader in a missional community said something that stuck with me:
“If you don’t do it, no one will.”
In every one of the nine cities where we now have intentional communities, leaders have taken the first step—and usually the greatest personal risk.
Almost always, these moves involve uncertainty. Often they come right down to the wire, requiring real trust in God’s provision. And time and again, God has proven faithful.
Put simply: leaders must exercise personal faith to see intentional community birthed.
4. Creative Thinking Is Essential
Housing decisions are shaped by financial realities—and honestly, this has been one of the hardest challenges for us.
Our church doesn’t have wealthy people, and yet we intentionally move into student neighbourhoods where rent and housing prices are often inflated. That has forced us to think creatively—and it has been beautiful.
Creative solutions have included:
Homeowners renting rooms to others in the church
Renters intentionally living together
Co-ownership arrangements between non-related people
Sale of houses to rent instead
Are these arrangements relationally risky? Absolutely.
But all deep joy in life requires relational risk. The greater the risk, the greater the potential joy.
5. Make Practical Compromises
Sometimes the “ideal” missional neighbourhood simply doesn’t exist. In some cities, there isn’t a clearly defined student area at all.
We’ve learned that in those cases, it’s often better to be close together as a church family—even if that means being slightly farther from our primary mission field.
This was a surprising lesson. Initially, we assumed proximity to the mission field mattered most. Over time, we’ve learned that the true strength of intentional proximity lies in the depth of relationships formed within the church.
Stronger relationships create more natural rhythms, greater resilience, and ultimately more effective mission. In some cases, that has meant longer commutes—but far deeper community.
A Long-Term, Risky, and Worthwhile Commitment
Intentional proximity is risky. It requires long-term thinking, patience, and trust.
We’ve been working toward this for nearly ten years, and it still feels like we’re just getting started. But of all the decisions we’ve made as a church family, choosing to live together—intentionally and sacrificially—has been one of the best.
And we wouldn’t trade it.
Man I feel this. Good thoughts here..
Real community doesn’t happen by accident. You choose it. Then you keep choosing it when it gets expensive