Parenting on Mission
How we've integrated our children into our mission for their and others' benefit.
This is a follow-up to my post on co-vocational ministry and marriage, now focusing on parenting within the same context.
It might be easy to assume that if we’re working full-time jobs and investing in co-vocational ministry, our children will suffer from neglect or lack of attention. However, nothing could be further from the truth. We are blessed to have an eight-year-old daughter and a five and a half-year-old son. They are bright, busy and a joy (and sometimes a challenge) to parent.
As I mentioned in my previous post, the purpose of marriage is to serve the Kingdom of Jesus and make disciples. This mission extends to our family as a whole—we serve the Kingdom of Jesus and make disciples together. Loving our children and serving God are not at odds; rather, they are deeply connected aspects of our family’s calling.
In a world where ministry is often treated as a profession and life integration is undervalued, raising children and engaging in ministry can seem like separate and competing responsibilities. However, when we embrace an integrated calling to make disciples as a church family, we recognize that children are one of God’s greatest gifts to the mission.
Foundational Principles for Parenting in a Co-Vocational Ministry Context
We live in a covenant family.
The Western church often emphasizes the nuclear family to the point of neglecting the biblical concept of raising children within a covenant family (the church) that shares our values. While my wife and I bear the primary responsibility for our children’s well-being, we are not alone in this journey. Our church family shares the joy of raising our children.
Because we prioritize shared values and open communication, we invite those covenanted with our church to speak into our children’s lives, love them, and invest in them. This approach ensures that our kids do not see ministry as something they compete with for our attention but as something they directly benefit from. They are blessed with many church brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles who love and support them.
One practical example: as a church family, we have committed that no family should have to pay for babysitting. In eight years of parenting, we have never hired a babysitter to support our ministry activity. Our kids either accompany us or are lovingly cared for by trusted members of our church community, or our parents, who we are blessed to receive support from
We live in proximity.
Because we don’t have long commutes or excessive travel obligations, we spend significant time with our children—both as a family and in fellowship with other families. We eat dinner together every night. About four of these meals each week are shared with other families in the church or take place in a larger community setting. Personally, I am home for family dinner every single night. This has been a non-negotiable in our routine for the past 15 years.
We live simply.
We have had to say no to many cultural norms. For example, we do not own a TV, and we are highly selective about extracurricular activities to ensure our family life maintains a healthy margin. Our goal is to allow our kids the time and space to be present at home rather than constantly being shuffled between scheduled programs.
Much of modern family life is overscheduled and highly programmed. Ironically, this often leaves parents with minimal one-on-one time with their children, and family schedules have little to no flexibility for organic relationships.
We include the kids.
Our children are encouraged to participate in every aspect of our ministry. They travel with us when we visit other churches, contribute to evangelism efforts, and join Bible studies. Kids are fully capable of being disciple-makers and evangelists. They don’t need a watered-down version of church; they need opportunities to actively engage in the life of their church family.
We share the parenting burden equally.
Since our children were born, Laura and I have been equally invested in their upbringing. In the early years, practical considerations meant Laura carried a slightly greater share, but in recent years, our roles have balanced. Our children know that both mom and dad are deeply involved in every aspect of their lives. Our goal is to model a marriage where we work together as a team to glorify Christ.
Anecdotes from Our Daily Rhythms
To give a glimpse into how this works practically, here are a few details from our family’s routine:
I handle bus drop-off and make lunches; Laura does bus pick-up and dinner prep. Occasionally, we switch roles when needed.
We eat dinner together as a family every night, and 50-60% of the time, others join us.
Laura and I split cooking, cleaning, and household tasks.
We do not track or strive for an equal division of labour; rather, we aim to serve the mission together and communicate our needs openly.
One of us puts the kids to bed most nights; about half the time, we do it together.
By intentionally integrating our children into our mission and relying on our church family, we’ve found that parenting in a co-vocational ministry context is not a burden—it’s a blessing. Our children are not sidelined by our calling; they are active participants in it.