The Pain of Sending
An eternal frame in a life of constant goodbyes.
This past week, I found myself in tears as one of the brothers in our church shared that, due to changes in immigration, he was unable to stay in Canada and would have to return home to a nation where opportunities to live his faith are severely restricted. I’m not sure that I will ever see him again.
Despite the situation being somewhat outside of his control, he was confident that the Lord would use it for his good and would ultimately build his church. His courage in the face of loss was remarkable.
The Weight of Many Goodbyes
We have said many goodbyes as a church over the last year. Some of those are because we have sent church planters to new, far-away cities. Others, like the brother I mentioned, are circumstances outside our control.
Layered into the grief that comes from sending leaders is another annual rhythm. Every April, at the end of the academic calendar, many of our students graduate and move on to new adventures. While some choose to stay invested in our church, many continue on.
In total, Laura and I have said goodbye to many thousands of people over the years. Many bittersweet goodbyes, and some, if I’m honest, just bitter. Flowing from this, a very real prayer of mine every April is that the Lord would help my heart stay tender despite the underlying sadness of saying goodbye to dear friends.
Saying goodbye, even when it is faith-filled and healthy, is painful.
An Eternal Frame
I was reflecting on Romans 8 this week in the context of this kind of grief, specifically the section at the end of the chapter that reminds us that neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
That means that distance cannot separate us from the love of Christ. Though a brother or sister may be physically far away, if they are in Christ and I am in Christ, then from an eternal perspective, we are not that far apart.
Maybe this feels too abstract theologically, but for me, it is very practical. So much of life on mission, church planting, and disciple-making only makes sense if we have an eternal frame.
What an Eternal Frame Produces
An eternal frame helps us persevere in loss. One day, we will be reconciled to one another.
An eternal frame helps us get up and keep going when we face setbacks. One day, every knee will bow, even if, right now, it feels like none will.
An eternal frame reminds us to keep counting the cost of following Jesus. Relative to what we gain in the riches of Christ, the price we pay is inconsequential. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all (2 Cor 4:17).
An eternal frame helps me release control. I am not the builder of the church; Jesus is.
Cultivating an Eternal Frame
Church history
By studying the church’s faithfulness throughout history, I am reminded that I am part of a much larger story. One that began long before me and will continue long after me. There are few ailments that a foray into church history cannot speak to. Right now, I am reading Water from a Deep Well, which surveys Christianity from the first martyrs onward. Although the content is not new to me, it is encouraging and refreshing to revisit the stories of the saints who have gone before.
Cherish the present
When faced with loss, it is tempting to harden my heart and simply push through. But the grief is healthy and is best shared with others. By choosing to embrace the loss with those around us, especially others on our leadership team, we bear it together and strengthen one another. Vulnerability as a leader can be tricky, but when we learn to strengthen each other, we can point one another toward a hopeful future centred on Christ.
Intimacy with Jesus
As time goes on, my daily time in Scripture, as part of our devotions, feels like the most important component in keeping my heart healthy and my perspective aligned. There is no substitute for personal time in Scripture to shape our lives around what is eternal rather than what is immediate.
Reading this made me feel the deep weight behind sending not just a message but a part of your heart because sometimes sending means releasing trusting and even letting go and that is never easy Many people feel this quiet struggle because sharing something meaningful can feel like sending it into the unknown or even into silence but that is where faith begins because we are not called to control the outcome only to be faithful in obedience It reminded me of how God Himself sends and how sending is often connected with sacrifice love and even pain because when God sent His Son it was not easy but it was love in action For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son John 3:16 and in that we see that true sending always costs something but it also carries eternal purpose Sometimes when we send whether it is a word a message or even a person we feel the ache of separation but we can trust that God is working beyond what we can see Even Jesus experienced this in His calling as the One sent by the Father and He said As the Father has sent Me I am sending you John 20:21 so when we feel the pain of sending we are actually stepping into something very sacred and divine It may feel like loss but in God’s kingdom sending is never the end it is the beginning of something new and meaningful There are moments when sending feels like releasing control and that can be uncomfortable because we want to hold on but the Bible reminds us Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding Proverbs 3:5 When we surrender what we send into His hands we find peace knowing that He carries it forward in ways we cannot Sometimes we may not see results immediately and that can feel discouraging but God’s Word encourages us Let us not grow weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up Galatians 6:9 So even if it feels like what we send disappears it is never wasted in God’s hands In the end the pain of sending is often the evidence of love obedience and faith working together because we care we release and we trust and that is a beautiful thing And we hold onto this promise that those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy Psalm 126:5 so we keep sending keep trusting and keep believing that God is doing something far greater than what we can see
Thank you for this text. God bless you. 🇧🇷