The Power of Rhythm

It’s for our good when church life is boring!

(Apologies that this post is late; a case of writer’s block hit hard along with a very hectic few days.)

This has been a year of weddings for our church. Almost every weekend of the summer we have had a precious brother and sister covenant together in marriage. It has been so encouraging to see our church family gather repeatedly to celebrate this gift of marriage. I have been deeply encouraged by the desire of each couple to use their wedding as an opportunity to proclaim the name of Jesus.

Yet, while a wedding is an exciting day, most of marriage is actually pretty boring and mundane. My wife is my most important friend and partner, yet it is easy to see her as a hindrance to my personal freedom.

In many ways, this serves as a helpful metaphor in thinking about disciple-making and church family.

Isn’t it funny that the things that are the most precious in life are the most easily resented?

Perhaps one of the greatest challenges in the rhythms of church life is the expectation that everything is exciting, when in fact the opposite. Most of church life, indeed most of life, consists of the mundane.

It’s worth adding that the recent advent of influencers and the broader media culture we live in makes it almost impossible to be satisfied in the slow, often difficult grind that is disciple-making. We’re constantly being pressured to believe that the results of our efforts and presence should be exciting.

Yet, most of the best things in life are slow, and the best rewards take time. Just as in marriage, if we are committed to and invested in our church family, it really can grow sweeter with time.

The fruit and blessing come when we can remind our souls of this patient process.

Choose the long road.

The only way to get lifelong friendship is not to give up on our lifelong friends. The best of disciple-making and church family is the invitation to build a lifelong family of covenant relationships on mission or the cause of Jesus.

I often plead with our younger people when they grow weary, usually between years 4 and 8, to not throw away their friendships in the church because it is getting hard or seems boring. It will take them at least the same amount of time to recover, if not longer, since making friends only gets harder as life goes on and the opportunities for meaningful connection decrease.

The best relationships come when we choose to walk the long road together, serving Jesus, no matter what.

Every gathering, meal, worship event, and serving opportunity is a small deposit in the bank. And just like financial savings, the benefits don’t come in the early days; over time, the results compound.

Choose the boring road.

There can be an expectation, rooted in our obsessively consumeristic context, that church life should be exciting all the time. That church gatherings should be entertaining and invigorating. That disciple-making should involve amazing stories.

Maybe I’m doing it all wrong, but most of church life is pretty mundane, even boring. I’ve preached possibly thousands of sermons, and heard just as many. Most are forgettable.

Week-in-and-week-out of setup and teardown, sermon writing, meetings, meetings, meetings and then more meetings.

But, what if the mundane gatherings are actually good for our soul? What if we weren’t made to be constantly entertained and invigorated but instead made to slow down and practice faithfulness and diligence? What if the sensation is actually evidence that the Holy Spirit is at work, teaching us to be faithful and obedient and sensitive to his gentle leading?

In our devotional rhythms, often scripture study feels dry. The Psalm doesn’t relate, and Paul’s writing feels obtuse. Yet, when we study, day in and day out, we are sowing the seeds of a beautiful harvest later. For example, I recently went through a very anxiety-inducing experience for about 3 months involving the sale of our house (a story for another day). I was so thankful that over the decades of following Jesus, I have memorized countless Scripture verses that I can call to mind to calm my spirit.

What was sown in boredom was harvested as a treasure in my time of need.

Choose the same road.

The grass always looks greener somewhere else. It’s easy to believe that another church, another community, or a better pastor will solve our spiritual listlessness. But it won’t. It never does.

I’ve pastored thousands of students over the years, and I have (almost) never seen someone leave our church for greener pastures to subsequently not suffer a repeat bout of spiritual malcontent. I wish this wasn’t a fact I carried, but it is. Why is that? Because the evidence of frustration in a church community is not an indication that something is wrong but that something is right! Barring egregious theological error or abuse, it’s better to stay on the road with the people among whom the Lord has in his sovereignty placed us.

Choose the hard road.

It’s easy to give up because it’s hard. It’s easy to focus on the obstacles, the challenges, the difficulties and say “it’s not worth it, today.”

My calendar is largely governed by a set of non-negotiable rhythms that establish a cadence and frequency of disciple-making, time in the word and an enjoyment of the family of God. But these rhythms can feel like strictures that limit my freedom and quash my ambition.

More than just inhibiting my desires, they can be frustration, difficult and tiresome. If I’m honest, it often would be easier to just stay home.

Yet, by showing up, time and again, especially when it is hard, we are sowing the seeds of something beautiful.

Our church is experiencing an overflow of joy at weddings because for more than 20 years we have been building relationships.

So, what do we do?

1. We show up again.

2. We don’t stop showing up.

3. We show up with a positive attitude.

4. We bring our best, even if our best that day is weak.

5. We open the Word, even when we don’t want to.

6. We pray, even when we face silence.

7. We make the meal, open our home, make the phone call.

8. We commit to our rhythms with our church family, especially when we don’t want to.

9. We confess our temptation towards desiring greener pastures, and invite a brother or sister to hold us steady.

10. As the writer of Hebrews says, we fix our eyes on Jesus.

If that sounds too complicated… perhaps the author of Ecclesiastes summarizes it best.